A Woman's Perspective: #selfie

Welcome to the new Wednesday Post! All types of topics being looked at through the eyes and mind of a woman.

What is a Selfie?

Selfie (noun): a photo which has been taken by the person in the photo, with the intention to post it on a social network.

Selfies go way back. First, 'Myspace Pic'. Then, 'Mirror Pic'. and now, Selfies. Same words, just evolved.

As I'm perusing through Urban Dictionary (so legit, right?!)  for definitions of the above words. I keep coming across words such as 'conceited', 'slut', 'ugly', or 'no friends'. If these words are truly associated with those who take selfies, that means myself, as well as at least half of my friends, are ugly conceited sluts who I'm actually not friends with...?

We all do it. I do it. I take pictures of myself and post them on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Guilty.

Why do we do it? Are we conceited? Are we desperately looking for compliments and attention? Maybe.

Maybe we just want to show that we are having a good make-up or hair day. Or maybe we just want to share a smile (or a duck face....)

If taking selfies is labeled with such desperation and annoyance, why do we still 'like' and comment on those photos? Maybe we actually enjoy looking at the beauty of other women, specifically those ones that we call friends. Maybe we like giving our friends compliments, because they deserve it, and we mean it.

I'm not sure where the whole obsession with taking pictures of ourselves began, but I guess you can call it a form of art. It's a self portrait, and we want to express how we are feeling in that moment. It's just progressively becoming a 'normal' thing to do as more outlets are created for us to post on.

The "Artistic" Selfie
Taking a picture of yourself in a unique way, rather than just in the mirror or direct shot.
Why did I take it? I wanted to take a 'bean' picture like no one else...














The Mirror Shot
So typical. Big flashy reflection.
Why did I take it? Because that's what teenagers do.















TRIPLE WHAMMY!
The Kissy , Extended Arm, Eyes Off Focus Face
Why did I take it? I was getting ready for a Valentine's Night out, trying to be flirty.

The Sexy Face
Why did I take it? Uhhh, I guess at 18(?) I was 'feeling sexy'....

The Humor SelfieWhy did I take it: I thought I was being funny and being me. Clean freak & Wine-O















The Pretty Selfie
Where you are generally feeling beautiful
Why did I take it: I want compliments NOW

The Drunk Selfie
Self Explanatory....
Think your looking hot...not so much. I actually look like I've been drinking and dancing all night, which I did not think would come out in the picture..as I took it in a bathroom....
I'm honestly so ashamed. At least I can look back at this now and be like "Hey I lost a lot of weight. Hey, don't let anyone put a camera in my hand while drinking .Hey, never make that face."


Of course, as I'm sure many can agree, if at least 60% of your photos are of you, you need to tone that down. How many times can we tell you that you look sooo pretty with your 'sexy face'? Yes, you may judge me by my photos I've just posted, but this is  for examples people ; ) I like to keep selfies at about 30% of my photos. No more.

So why do women do it? It's not often you see men taking photos of themselves. I know every time I get caught taking a selfie by my boyfriend, I get a "Uh, what are you doing?" Shamefully I say, "..nothing." Damn it, I'm taking a picture of myself because I feel good. I feel like I look good today and I want more than just a few people to see it. I mean how often does a good outfit or 'face' day get wasted because the only people we see are our co-workers and the homeless man that shouted at you on the street? I'd like some more compliments than "mmm... baby you so bootiful. Can you spare some change?"

Who doesn't love a compliment? Who doesn't like having a little extra bounce in their step?

You know that deep down inside, you look damn good, and you're hoping that someone will see it. That person may be your significant other who needs a pick-me-up at work.That someone may be the ex who needs to see what he had, the crush whose eyes your trying to please, the girl who called you ugly, those 'people' from high school. It's okay to feel satisfied about yourself. Posting a picture about yourself does not mean you are self conscious. I've seen the most confident women post selfies, because they know they will make men and women stop scrolling down their news feed to admire a piece of art.

In the end, I think we continue to post pictures of ourselves because we want to see how we look through other peoples eyes. We want to see what other people see, not only through the picture, but by how many 'likes' and comments we can receive.

What Are You Wearing?

Welcome to my Monday Posts, where each week I'll be talking about a product I love. Of course like my previous posts on my favorite products, you will always find money savings tips and humor. Have a product you think I should try? I'm always up for new things, so let me know, and I'll review it!




"What Are You Wearing?"

Probably one of the top questions that I get asked on a daily basis. We aren't talking dirty here. We aren't talking designer. Well, unless you're talking about perfume.

I have an obsession. Perfume.

Thanks to my mother, I have a quite unusual love for fine fragrance. Not just on me either. On men. On other women. In the Store. Walking in Macy's Fragrance Department is like Christmas morning.

I would also say I have quite a talent by identifying fragrances on others. It's kind of creepy, but I can get one wiff of you, and I know the perfume. To prove I'm right, I will ask you. No matter where we are. This happens most often when I'm working at the host stand. My normal spiel of "Do you have a reservation?" turns into "Are you wearing Burberry Body?"

Now, this is not an inexpensive obsession, my friends. Designer perfumes are as much as a week's worth of groceries. If you want to have a 'signature scent' by all means, buy that Chanel. But if you're like me and must wear a new scent each day, you've got to find other options besides Givenchy.

Now I'm sure you'll notice the Prada and Chanel right up front, but that's because sometimes I'm spoiled by my Perfume Addict Mother.

Don't want to drop a hundo on a good smelling liquid in a fancy bottle? Not a problem, I got those too.

I still get PLENTY of compliments on:

Bath and Body Works Body Mist
How much you'll spend: $14
My Favorites: Sensual Amber, Twilight Woods
Cons: Since it's a Body Mist and not a 'perfume' the scent doesn't last as long. You will need to reapply often. It helps if you put in on right after the shower, and if you use the matching lotion ($11). Or BBW offers Eau De Toillette's in some of their signature fragrances, which run at about $30. Still cheaper than department store!
For the Men: They offer Body Sprays and Eau De Tiollette's in Men's Fragranes as well. Same prices as above.

Celebrity Perfumes (Available Outside of Department Stores)
How much you'll spend: $6-$30
Examples: JWoww (Yes, I own this.), Britney Spears, Justin Bieber, Jennifer Lopez
Where you can find these: Target
Cons: These are normally smaller bottles, they run out faster. They also sell designer brands at Target, but again they are the smaller bottles, and the value (and sometimes I swear the product quality) is not as good as department stores.
For the Men: Usher, Michael Jordan

OMG Moment: As I was searching on Target.com for more examples, I found one of my favorite fragrances that was discontinued in department stores. FCUK by French Connection. Just in case anyone wants to spoil me for a bit...

Clothing Store Perfumes
How much you'll spend: $11- $40
Examples: Gilly Hicks (have it!), American Eagle, Hollister, Charlotte Russe, Victoria's Secret
Cons: It might be a little embarrassing going into some of those stores because only high schoolers shop there , eh hem, Hollister. But it smells soo gooood
For the Men: All these stores have men's fragrances as well. I've always love AE and VS men's fragrances.



So tell me, what are some of your favorite fragrances? Any I should try? I'm always up for fragrance donations :)

Get All Up In My Business: Where I've been this past...month.

Well, according to Blogger Statistics, it shows plenty of you read my last post about 'needing you help.' I got a whopping two of you who gave me advice, that is very much appreciated. Wish I had more to go off of, but that just means that if you don't like what I'll be writing about, you should have participated when I was looking for opinions. Of course, I'm always taking suggestions along the way.

Here's what I came up with:

I'll be trying to write every other day. Mostly on Mondays, Wednesday, Fridays..and probably one day on the weekend to give you a blurb about my life (just like I am now). I have decided to create certain 'subjects' on those days, but you'll have to wait. They might change every once in awhile to keep you on your toes.

_________________________________________________________________________________

I think the last time I gave you an update on my life, was at the beginning of the year..when I had the flu. If you wanted to know, I'm feeling great (well, considering its been over a  month now). I feel like everything else in my life though has pretty much been going the same since I started this blog. Still working the same jobs. Still in the same apartment with the same great boyfriend. There has been little up's and down's here and there. Luckily, my boss at Sweetchic gave me an awesome book called "One Line a Day: a Five-Year Memory Book", so I can look back and recall what I actually did. Nathan and I have been trying to fill this out every night. We were doing really well...starting to slack a  bit, or our lives just aren't that interesting that we need to take note.

 Here we go:

I dropped a pant size. YAY!

I got a new tattoo in memory of my grandma (blog post to come).

I was able to see my Twinnie Twin Twin and her rock (oh, and Steve ;) ) when they came back home.

I thought about running the Chicago Marathon. I've chosen not run, as I would have only a week to make my final decision, and lets face it, I'm not that spontaneous.

We saw the move Side Effects. I recommend it. Make sure you bring someone along who you can have a critical thinking conversation after.

We found out Nathan has to go to India. Yes, you heard me right...INDIA, not Indiana. It's for work. I'm proud of him, but very anxious. It's only for a week. I'm used to having him travel within the U.S ..only for three days..and only 1-2 hours time difference. Now were talking it's bedtime here, and he is just starting his work day there. With my funky work schedule, communication is going to be really difficult. If you know me, you know I'm not very optimistic, so of course I'm only thinking of all the bad things that could happen. And jealous, because the Taj Mahal is on my Bucket List.  I'm super anxious. I'm not quite sure how you military spouses/girlfriends/boyfriends do it (Yes, I know your situation is a lot more anxiety-causing).  But, do you have any suggestions for the time zone difference? Any suggestions on how to  get rid of my anxiety that he will be so far away? I heard India has a lot of gold...some great jewels...some great jewelry. Hint. Hint.

Registered for the Color Run!

For Valentines Day, I made Nathan some delicious treats and a card. I got some chocolates...and tickets to the Blackhawksssss. Woop Woop Woop. We are going tomorrow! Super excited. If there is one thing I know how to cheer its, "Lets Go Hawks!"

For our V-Day Celebration (on that Saturday) we checked out a place called Municipal Bar. Not anything fancy, and your typical  bar atmosphere. I was all like "I don't really want to go to a nice dinner because I'm not really that fancy type of girl." Well it turns out this girl likes to be wined and dined occasionally. Yes, I still had a great time, but the atmosphere was the complete opposite of what 'Valentine's Day stands for'. Looking at Municipal Bar as a place to grab drinks and dinner though? Hell ya! I thought the food was pretty good, and there menu was better than your average bar fare. The layout and design of the bar is really awesome. Very Chicago-like with maps and diagrams of the CTA system on glass walls. Exposed brick. Huge Bar. Lots of T.V's. Those big round comfy booths that can fit like ten people in them. Attractive women in skintight black clothing (if you like that sort of thing). An extra detail that I really loved was the check came in a 'parking ticket' envelope. It's the details like that, that win me over. I would  recommend Municipal Bar for larger groups who want to go out to watch a game or who are celebrating a special night (bachelor/ette, birthday) before you really hit it hard.

We will be going to Hawaii in August! Any places we should check out?

I started training for a half-marathon. No, I don't have a particular race in mind, but it's great training to get in shape for whatever race I want to do! I'm a week in and going strong.

My dad had back surgery, but is recovery great and quickly!

Well, for having my life not change that much, there sure are a lot of little things going on. I think I have you all caught up. Sorry its so long. If I keep this blogging going, I wont have to bore you like this very often.

Watch out for another blog on Monday. I'll be talking about one of my obsessions (can you guess what it is?), and how I still get away with it while on a budget!

Hey You! Ya, You! I need your help. Seriously.

Oh, this is just a shame. I have literally neglected my blog. It's just so hard to keep on top of this. It was just a mere month ago that I was apologizing for something like this before. and I prooomised that it wouldn't happen again. Well aren't I just a disappointment? I would have dumped my ass by now.

I'm going to try to go about doing this blog a different way. I'm going to make it more organized. Somehow the most organized person (uh, me) didn't consider doing this before because 'I thought I could handle it just like this. That I would simply remember to post..a lot.' I was wrong.

I'd like to start organizing the blog by having each day be a category. It will remind me to write. That doesn't mean that I will write every single day (because lets face it, I don't always have time for you), but pretty damn close.

But I need your help. I know what I like to write about, and I know how I like to write it. For instance, I love writing how to's with sarcastic, stereotypical humor, but are still useful. I love talking about myself and what is going on in my life because its clear my mind. I like talking about Pinterest, weddings, fitness/health, saving money, beauty/clothes, relationships...pretty much anything.

But what do you want me to talk about? What do you enjoy reading? How can I write it so it's more entertaining for you? What are some of your favorite posts that I've previously written? That may give me a good direction.

I've thrown some ideas around, and I could come up with these categories on my own, but your input would be greatly appreciated. Just to give you an idea what direction I was headed in (although some of these are too cheesey , that I don't think I can move forward with them...)

$$ Monday (obviously about saving money...because that's what I love to do)
Tip Tuesday (the tip could be about anything, which is where I'm looking for your help to tell me what you want me to write about...)
Either like a Work Out Wednesday or Fitness Friday
How-To Thursday

What I would really like to do is keep Saturdays and Sundays to a more personal blog. Kind of keeping you up to date on my life, other than on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Foursquare...

I also wouldn't mind having days just simply dedicated to crap on Pinterest or being a domesticated lady.

Please *hands clasped together* Please *falls to knees* PLEASE *starts shaking you by your legs* give me some input! I don't want to disappoint! Feel free to either comment on the blog itself  or in a comment on FB, or tweet.

Valentine's Day - Lesson 1

It's about a week away from everyone's favorite Hallmark holiday; Valentine's Day. Regardless of the history of the day, it's turned out to be a 'buy all the mushy-gushy stuff you can to prove that you love your significant other' and the person that usually does all the buying is the man in the relationship. I'm not saying this is right, or that I don't show my man some love on V- Day, but its the truth. You know it. Get over it.

Now, this post may be pointless, as I'm not sure many men actually read this blog, but I do hope to make some ladies chuckle. Maybe, just maybe, your man with stumble upon this post and realize it honestly does not take much to please a women on this holiday. He doesn't need to break the bank. Yes, some guys will order two dozen roses, and have them waiting at your dinner table where he will spend $50 on a Filet the size of three fingers. Some guys will buy a $100, life-size teddy bear that will collect dust in your closet. Yes, some guys will propose to their love on this day, but that's a one time thing, and don't expect him to exceed that V-Day gift the next year. These are the exceptions to the rule. Women are easily amused, and just seeing you put in some effort is what she is looking for. She just wants you to acknowledge her, not necessarily the holiday. Let her know you care, appreciate, and love her.

Need some inspiration, men? [Ladies, take notes, start dropping hints.]

Buy a Card
Good: Hallmark actually makes cards that are .99. Wish her a happy V-Day.
Great: Take the time to actually find a card that truly says what you feel. There are people out there, hopeless romantics, whose job it is to write exactly what you are feeling but can't say. They do the work for you, you sign it. Boom.
Above and Beyond: Buy a card, and write your own message. Something personal, romantic. I know, scary right? Grow some balls and show us how you really feel or you will never have the chance to.

Go Old School...Make a Mix Tape
Good: Make her a C.D/playlist with generic love songs that she will still listen to all the time.
Great: Actually make her a personal C.D/playlist with songs that either a) remind you of her b) how you feel about her c) songs that mark milestones in your relationship (ex. a song that played when you just met, first dance, songs you like to get down to...ha, oh ya.)
Above and Beyond: You sing? You play an instrument? You know what to do. Unless you're bad. Please spare us the heartbreak.

Dinner
Good: Take her out. Doesn't even have to be for dinner. Could be brunch..or just drinks. Spend a little money, nothing cray.
Great: Make her dinner at home. Make it like a scene from a movie. Not that hard. Light a candle, set the table. Actually clean your place....
Above and Beyond: It's hard to go above and beyond without breaking the bank for this category. But I would suggest, if you met at a bar, or your first date was at a specific restaurant, take her there. Re-create those beginning moments.

Sweets & Treats
Good: Chocolate.
Great: Wine
Above and Beyond: Wine AND Chocolate. Heaven.

Flowers
Good:  A single rose.
Great:  A single stem or bouquet of her favorite flower
Above and Beyond: Have her favorite flower waiting someplace special (the dinner table, when you open the door, when you come home, on the bed...)

Just Take Care of Her
Sometimes a woman just likes to be catered to. Maybe she's been working a lot ; give her a massage. She's stressed; let her beat the shit out of you in Call of Duty. She's feeling down;Tell her you love her. Sometimes words are the only gift she needs. She's sick; Make her tea, pop in a movie, snuggle in bed, and let her pass out in your arms. << personal experience. it was lovely. Just what you need when you're under the weather.

..and when all else fails.

Buy Lingerie
Can't really fail at this. Go to Vicki's. Flirt with the sales associate. Tell her that your girlfriend has  about the same size boobs as her. Have her pick something out. Watch your girl squirm and giggle that you actually 'picked out a pair of panties' (besides who doesn't love a new pair of underwear!?) and later...watch her in them. It's a win-win. But you're going to pay for it. Those panties aren't cheap, my dear.

In the end, it's not about how much you spend. It's about you two as a couple. He should be able to pick something out that expresses his love/care for you, or fits your relationship. If he's a simple man, not so good with words, a single rose may be what you receive. But that's him. Simple, still beautiful. You need to know and understand that the fact that he actually acknowledged you, and in turn, celebrating this 'holiday', is a big deal. There are PLENTY of 'men'..eh hem...boys...who refuse to participate in any sort of festivities because

• "I don't believe in that holiday"
• What he really means: I'm cold. I don't do the whole love thing. Run. Leave now.
• "Why should I have to do something for her, when she won't do anything for me?"
• Uh, I'm sorry, but we put up with a lot of your manly gross habits and crap. We do a lot. And whose to say that if you actually were to do something for us, then we won't reciprocate the favor?
• "I don't have money" 
• Invalid excuse. I just told you what to do. Geez, you only have to spend like $2.00 on a card...
• "I don't know what to get her"
• If it's chocolate or made of grapes or sparkles or smells sweet or romantic or soft.... you're in the clear.

If you both have come to an agreement that you both will not be participating in this holiday, that's great! I just hope you are being honest with yourself, and that you aren't deep down inside hoping for a surprise.

Men, Good Luck. May you truly put some heart into this.

Ladies, I hope you are shown all the love you deserve.

<3

What I Learned From My Mother...

There are a lot of things I've learned from my mother...

1) You can never have enough perfume
2) That everyday is a Bon Jovi day

3) Your mother is meant to be there to be your best friend, you can tell her anything

4) Big noses can be sexy on a man
5) Drunk, stupid girls are not attractive (I can't even begin to tell you how many times she reminded me this                                                                                                          in college...)
6) You can always come home, family will always be here

7) Always make your bed, you never know who will stop by (but mooooom, I can just close the door...)

8) Find a man who makes you laugh, and that you actually want to be around all the time, and you'll be happy

9) All the lyrics to Prince's hits because of Purple Rain (I never meant to cause you any sorrow..I never meant to cause you any pain...)

and what we will be discussing today...

10) always make a grocery list

To think that this lesson has stuck with me through all these years is no surprise. It has to do with planning, and anything to do with creating lists and staying on track is automatically filed away in my brain (probably even at the age where I was still content sitting inside the cart just creepily staring at the other grocery shoppers with my big panda eyes, to the point that they think something is wrong....) You must always go to the grocery store...with a list!!! Your trip is guaranteed to be doomed if you walk into the store without a list. All those sales tactics and marketing/placement tricks they spend months talking about in their corporate headquarters (like placing the discounted Funfetti Frosting and Cake Mix on the end caps ...) yup, their gonna get ya. Don't be a fool to those gimmicks, make a list, here is why....

1) Saves Time
It gets you in and out of there quicker. Have you ever tried going without a list? It's like all of a sudden this store that you've been to a bajillion times and I can tell you exactly what is down aisle five, becomes this foreign land and you end up strolling around with this stupid look on your face (for some reason, I'm picturing this face to be the Jenna Marbles "Just Make This Face" look. Yeah, that one. And now your doing it. Attractive.) Point being, you make a list, you're in and out in 15 mins tops.

2) Buy Things You Actually Need
When you have a list, you go off of whats on the list. Your brain knows this. I can't explain it, it just works like that. It sees 'nanners'. Okay legs, walk to the produce aisle. On the way there you didn't even notice that Oreos were BOGO Free! Talk about a way to stay on your diet....

3) Stick to Your Diet

See above. I suppose this only works though if you only write down healthy things....

4) Forces You to Plan Your Meals
meaning...you wouldn't just make a grocery list of just random crap, right? Right... you're making a list of ingredients of things you need to make meals. You are not just going to sit in the grocery store and be like, "Hmmm..what do I want for dinner on Thursday night?" NO. Do this at home. It's people like me who are going to give you 'tude and groan at you when you're blocking half the aisle staring at what noodles you want. I will run you over.

5) You Won't Forget Anything (unless you forget to write it on the list)
The worst is when you think that you've got this 'mental list' going on. No, they don't work. You will forget something. You wake up in the morning and the worst thing happens...you bought coffee...but no creamer. I could use milk...and I probably will, but that puts a rough start to my day which will probably turn out to be a bad one #optimismatitsfinest

6) You Save Money
See Number 2

7) For Those in the Concrete Jungle...You Aren't Struggling to Walk Home..

...while your bags are digging into your wrists,  you're biggest fear is the plastic ripping and having your Snickers (that you just haaad to have) fall out in the middle of the street. Again, if you have a list, you only buy what you need (see Number 2).

8) Gives You the Right to Say 'NO'
Women know that the worst thing that you can ever encounter in the grocery store is..dun dun dunnn..man shoppers. They leave their carts in Aisle 5..and they are in Aisle 11. They NEVER make lists. They were told to buy tampons, milk, and eggs..they come home with Q-Tips, Beer, and Chips. Some of us though, have been forced to make this scenario worse..and dun dun dun...bring along our man. If you make a list, you have the right to say "No. Is it on the list? No, it's not. So we aren't getting it." And just start walking away. He'll most likely put that box of Reese's Puffs down because the moment he loses sight of you and you turn down the next aisle..he's lost. It's unfamiliar territory. Although, sometimes, like with a small child, you have to let them buy one treat. You wouldn't want him to be pouty the rest of the day because he can't get OkeeDokee. Point is, avoid bringing your man at all costs, because list or not, they will add extra things to your cart. Which will not save you time, money, or calories (unless you're lugging all that home) and you will still forget something.